Saturday, March 10, 2007

Minute by Minute

I have been wanting to update for a few weeks now but it is hard to start. I think I will start with Tim's service and work my way forward.I would like to thank everyone who was involved I know there were so many people helping behind the scenes that I could never thank everyone but please know we appreciate everything. Mary did a perfect job officiating and the family portrait Kenny drew has provided us much peace. Thank you to everyone who spoke about Tim either to me privately or out loud every story touched my heart.
As most people know Jessie's birthday was the day after Tim's service so we made it through our first of many firsts to come this year. It was as difficult as you would imagine. Jessie said you know mom its not fair . Grandma had her dad for 60 years and I only had mine for 12. There are no proper responses for these statements because it does seem so unfair.
Next I would like to invite everyone to watch the memorial video we made for Tim. Just click on the link at the right side of the page. Thank you Rob for your patience and help putting that together. It is quite a mix of emotions when I watch it. I'm thankful and happy we made so many memories with the kids but it is heartbreaking to think there will be no more family trips.
Everyone asks with genuine concern how the kids and I are doing. Honestly, not to be depressing but it seems to be getting harder. I think the shock has worn off and reality has set in that the man who filled our house with laughter and joy is never coming home. It feels like a big empty hole has ripped through this family. We truly are taking life minute by minute. There are times when we are o.k. We went skiing on Monday and it was nice to hear the kids laughing. Grief seems to come in waves and you never know where it will hit. I cry in church at the grocery store and on the ski lift. There was a father daughter dance at Jessie's school last night and that almost killed me. I dreaded it all week thinking how much Tim loved to dance and that Jessie would have had the best date there.
Everyone also asks if we need anything to let them know. Well I thought of something. Katie was talking to me and said mom I really wish I could hear more stories about dad from people.
So if anyone has any comments, antidotes or stories they would like to share we would love to hear them. You can leave them as comments on this blog or mail them to us .
Thanks everyone I will update again when the days are brighter. Kathy

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi girls I LOVE the video its the most beautiful video i have ever seen. I must say girls i have seen you out a few times in the past few weeks, you have all shown dignity that i think a few people possess. I know Tim is smiling on you all from heaven with the proudest smile from ear to ear because he knew you could do it. I can't begin to say I know what you are going thru cause I haven't the slightest clue. Kathy you are the most amazing person in the world the courage and strength you are showing your two girls is unbelieveable i know you don't feel like you are brave or courageous but believe me YOU are!!! Tim wouldn't want it any other way but the way you are taking the situation and dealing with it...Katie you are so sweet, beautiful and the bravest of 15 yrs old i have ever seen, Morgan is so impressed by your courage on a daily basis that you wouldn't believe it. Jessie everytime that we see you are smiling the most beautiful smile ever...you girls are extremely brave and courageous and we are very proud of all of you. Keep up the smiles it is a minute by minute situation-WE LOVE YOU ALL The Bell Family

Anonymous said...

I wanted to share what my son, 12, wrote for a poem assignment in school. Not sure of the details of the assignment...



He was...

He was a man from Redding California
Who became a loving father
And an inspiration to all our family

He was a man who loved his daughters
And loved to spoil everyone with his kindness and selflessness

He was always good at making everyone laugh
And always making someone feel good

He was and still is an unforgettable flame
That will stay in my family's heart forever.